Book Review: Celebrating Pregnancy Again by Franchesca Cox
It’s interesting to me that when I describe myself as a Doula who focuses on families experiencing perinatal loss, almost every person (if not every person) thinks to talk to me about the actual pregnancy and birth surrounding the loss. There is never any mention of what loss looks like in healthy pregnancies beyond that or the unique support and care that may be required.
“May your journey be filled with more hope and healing than you ever dreamed possible.” - Franchesca Cox
I certainly don’t feel that people intend to be neglectful or hurtful when it comes to the absence of acknowledging previous pregnancies and birth, rather it shows how far we have to go in supporting the full picture of perinatal loss. Celebrating Pregnancy Again offers a glance into one person’s story through her three pregnancies, focusing on her first child who passed away and how this affected her thoughts and emotions during the following pregnancies. This book not only offers insight for the expecting parent of their first rainbow baby but is a great introduction to supporting family and friends who may want to understand more of the emotions and thoughts of the pregnant person.
When I first picked up Celebrating Pregnancy Again, I was a little surprised by how small/short the book was; however, with a book that covers such enormous, complex, individual topics of emotion, I can see how valuable it would be to a family beginning to expect their first rainbow baby by offering a gentle, general look at possible emotions (rather than an exact ‘This is what you will/should feel). I appreciated that the author, Franchesca Cox, not only discussed her personal thoughts and emotions around the pregnancy itself but the relationships she experienced surrounding it. The fact that she touches on her struggles with her faith may seem bold to some but I expect it to be comforting to others who may be experiencing the same struggles. At the end, there wasn’t a ‘conclusion’ when it came to this part of her journey, which is also going to relate to many and bring comfort that they are not alone.
“Don’t be afraid to listen to your instincts and lean on your grief even after bringing a new child into the world.”
I have personally had families reach out to me with the news that they are expecting again with the intention of sharing ‘only’ good news; however, I think because these families view me as a ‘safe’ person to be vulnerable with, we often talk about the complexity of what they are experiencing. On the one hand I am grateful to assure them that I am understanding of any range of emotion they may be feeling and what they are feeling is normal; on the other, it pains me to think they have felt so much weight and burden until we talk, thinking they should remain grateful, ‘over’ their last birth, and, worst of all, silent.
I absolutely suggest this book as an initial look into the possibilities of pregnancy after loss, which are not widely discussed. Because the author is able to share her personal experiences without a great amount of detail, even if the reader hasn’t had the exact same experiences, I think they will at least be able to take comfort in the idea that they are not alone in their thoughts and feelings. At most, I hope this book offers a gentle push for others to be more confident expressing what they are going through and receive greater support because of it.
Restoring the lost joys of pregnancy after the loss of a child.
Have questions about birth?
I would love to answer them! Not even sure what to ask? That’s ok too. Never hesitate to reach out to a Birth Worker to simply discuss what your options are, how you may be able to work together, and see who may be the best fit for you. There are many of us who truly want to see you well taken care of and have your best interest at heart.
Teresa Robertson received her Bachelor’s of Fine Art degree in Photography and Fine Art Illustration from the Savannah College of Art and Design. After serving as a volunteer for several years with Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep, she became interested in Birth Photography and Birth Doula (DONA) work as well. She soulfully resides on the island of Oahu, is passionate about preserving the land and culture.
