Managing Life & Birth Without Mentioning the C Word
As the world has been watching the last several weeks play out, I have personally been reacting to current events like breathing: Take everything in, get the bad stuff out, fluidly move on to the next experience, repeat. Every so often take a quiet, intentional moment to reassess how everything feels, appreciate that there is perfection happening in details so minuscule that I can’t even identify, and adjust my stance if I recognize I could be improving how things function.
It’s easy to look at others and wish we had the view as them; but sometimes, if we would just gift ourselves a moment or two, we would see we have access to the same things. (View of sunrise over the water.) Photograph by Teresa Robertson of Robertson & co. in Hawaii.
Due to the world of social media, t’s been pretty incredible to almost be a fly on the wall for so many; suddenly, what people value has come to surface in unexpected ways. Having said that, things people don’t value has been just as eye opening. Watching so many intimate, unique details of lives play out, I’ve almost been appreciative to have the expanded insight to understand what is individually important to people, how they respond, what emotions require more support from others, and identify opportunities to step in to help in ways that may seem small to me but play a bigger, more important roles to another person.
As I continue to put focus on the birth community in my career, I recognize and appreciate the similarities of how each day brings subtle changes with, at times, major consequences both negative and positive. The need to be open minded and understand when someone is feeling uncomfortable vs. in crisis mode. Acknowledging that there may not seem like much of a difference to others looking in. Recognizing that while a small shift may have contributed to feeling out of control, an equally small shift can reign comfort, confidence, and assurance back just as quickly. Finding an appropriate way to contribute to a positive outcome when it feels like there’s a road block at each turn.
Consideration of these things make me realize what calls me to be a Birth Doula, the attention required in helping others with seemingly ‘routine’ tasks that may need a little unforeseen attention and care along the way. I keep thinking about these two (separate) phrases:
“Just stay home!”
“Just have a baby!”
Appreciating the details. Tree of Life from the series Mele Ma'i (Procreation Chants). Photograph by Teresa Robertson of Robertson & co. in Hawaii.
The simplicity that surrounds the initial thought of each...until you begin to consider the intimate details that ultimately play a major factor in how pleasurable vs. traumatizing each can potentially play out. While some may leave it to happenstance, others will proactively work on a plan that allows more controlled, favorable outcomes to be experienced. Not that there won’t need to be some adjustments along the way but knowing that should things not go as planned, it will be easier to improvise and move to Plan B.
All of this to say, we are each going through some decisions we didn’t anticipate, inconveniences to our ideal day to day, and circumstances beyond our control. Especially if you are able to give birth, your world may be feeling like it’s completely flipped over. If this applies to you and you are nervous about where you had originally planned to give birth, not having the support around you that had been anticipated, or just what life is going to look like with a newborn in general when ‘normal’ has already gone out the window - please reach out to me.
You have my promise that I will not
Attempt to make decisions for you.
Pretend to have all of the answers.
What I will do is listen - and, should you want help researching information or considering different labor and birthing options, suggest some pretty incredible people in the birth community that may be able to make some possible choices feel less scary.
If you aren’t pregnant but happen to resonate with this article in a different way, still reach out. Life can be really complicated and overwhelming; starting with a conversation may not be the instant resolve to everything but it’s a step in the right direction. Just know you don’t have to ‘push through’ - and certainly not alone.
Have questions about birth?
I would love to answer them! Not even sure what to ask? That’s ok too. Never hesitate to reach out to a Birth Worker to simply discuss what your options are, how you may be able to work together, and see who may be the best fit for you. There are many of us who truly want to see you well taken care of and have your best interest at heart.
Teresa Robertson received her Bachelor’s of Fine Art degree in Photography and Fine Art Illustration from the Savannah College of Art and Design. After serving as a volunteer for several years with Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep, she became interested in Birth Photography and Birth Doula (DONA) work as well. She soulfully resides on the island of Oahu, is passionate about preserving the land and culture.
