Did you know? 1 in 7 Moms and 1 in 10 Dads suffer from postpartum depression. Reaching out to speak with someone is the best way to help determine what path is best for you. Consider reaching out to Postpartum International Support by calling 1.800.944.4773, texting 503.894.9453 or visitinghttp://www.postpartum.net/

Dear Friend with Postpartum Depression Who Doesn’t Think She Has Postpartum Depression,

I don’t know if you see yourself. But I see you. And I’m scared for you.

Why?

Because I’ve been there. And I almost didn’t make it out alive. I know, I know - this is different for you. It was for me, too. I could get out of bed. I could fake the smile - hell, once in awhile I even had a genuine smile. I changed my cloth diapered baby, cooked dinner from scratch, posted all the pretty pictures on Instagram; if you could see a physical example of a ‘functioning post-birth mother’, I can assure you, I was what you were looking for. I even filled out that 6 week checkup form with flying colors because, I mean...come on.

I made sure no one could see me inside.

Eight weeks postpartum, at the pumpkin patch with my family. The meltdown in the middle of Whole Foods afterwards is memorable.

I had been told about the ‘scary, spooky PPD’ stories. What I was feeling wasn’t anything quite like I had heard, so at the time I thought that wasn’t what I was going through. Whatever it was, I was ‘just was in a funk’. Something I needed to adjust my attitude in the bathroom quickly and then continue to take on the day. After all, I was just adjusting. I was just tired. I was just...failing.

I want you to know that Postpartum Depression is SO difficult to see and define, that if you *are* struggling, you will likely not fit nice and neat into a predetermined box. And like an abusive relationship, it will be easy to make excuses, brush off ‘isolated’ incidents, and accept the voice in your head that keeps apologizing, saying ‘It will never be this way again. That was the last time. I promise.’

No, I can’t see your soul. Maybe I’m way off base. But if the fact that I see even a glimmer of me in you scares the hell of me. I don’t want this pain for you and I wish I could do more. A side effect of not getting help when it is needed means that this can have life-long, lasting effects; so, yes, I am coming to you as a person who has never completely healed - and as someone who is begging you to consider a different path.

I  want you to know that I see you, I feel with you, and I. LOVE. YOU. I may not be able to heal you but I still want you to know you can come to me and just be. Not the ‘You’ pre baby, not the ‘You’ you thought you would be post baby - the You that you are right now.

I need you. I need you to be honest with me. I need you to be honest with yourself. With your significant other. Your doctor. With anyone and everyone who will listen. Maybe we won’t all understand and we may make mistakes. I just want you to know it’s all with good intention, with the attempt of showing you how much we love you.

Just please don’t wait.

Three weeks postpartum, first family outing with my newborn, Washington D.C.

Teresa Robertson received her Bachelor’s of Fine Art degree in Photography and Fine Art Illustration from the Savannah College of Art and Design. After serving as a volunteer for several years with Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep, she became interested in Birth Photography and Birth Doula (DONA) work as well. She soulfully resides on the island of Oahu, is passionate about preserving the land and culture, and is proud to serve on The Queen’s Court.

It’s always a little hard to explain to people what goes on behind the scenes in Photography. On the one hand, I certainly don’t expect non-Photographers to understand, the same way I don’t know everything that goes behind the scenes of anyone else’s career. There’s almost always a bit of shock that more would involved than just buying a fancy camera and clicking the shutter button. 

One thing that I really love to share is the work that goes into being a part of the Professional Photographers of America (PPA), especially attending the annual Imaging USA convention. For 3+ days each January, Professional Photographers from all over the world join together to catch up with friends in the industry, going through a pretty intensive class schedule, discover new ways to serve their clients better, and just plain join in community until the next year rolls around. 

This is the 3rd year in a row that I’ve attended and this year specifically has been an incredible time of reflection. Since my re-entry into the photography world, it’s incredible to see the education leaps and bonds I’ve created in the last several years. I remember my first trip like it was yesterday, sort of sticking to myself, an observer, and being in awe over what was going on around me. This year, it was like watching myself in my own movie, realizing how much I had grown and achieved. 

Sitting on the airplane, flying back to D.C. / Maryland, I am slowly trying to figure out how I’m going to organize, execute, and display what I’ve absorbed over the last 3 days in Nashville, TN (the convention changes location - watch for it in the D.C. area 2020!). There’s just so much wonderful things to put in place and provide for others. Similarly to act of kindness, I don’t feel the need to display every small piece of the puzzle - but with my business and my art, I would love for you to know that despite the incorrect assumption that Photographers only work when they are behind the camera, that this is one Photographer, at 7:43pm on a Tuesday night, flying through the Midwest, is not only thinking of how I can better myself, but better myself for you. 

Xo

Teresa Robertson received her Bachelor’s of Fine Art degree in Photography and Fine Art Illustration from the Savannah College of Art and Design. After serving as a volunteer for several years with Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep, she became interested in Birth Photography and Birth Doula (DONA) work as well. She soulfully resides on the island of Oahu, is passionate about preserving the land and culture, and is proud to serve on The Queen’s Court.